hey

Ok... so... this past weekend was Jen and Kevin's Birthday party plus my going away party and taping of the video for Kyle... Justin and Kevin went to Doug's party Friday night while I was at work and were asleep by the time I got home. I hung out with Jen and Jessi at my house till like midnight when Jessi went over to Rose's to go to bed. Me and Jen spent the whole night talking and hanging out. I slipped out the big secret and she didn't even catch on but it's ok... I told Kevin that I told her and he tried to hit me but then I explained it to him and he's like "irony" so... yeah... by the way anyone who doesn't know what the secret is... mind your own buisness... this is basically just to tell Kyle what's been going on. I'll explain it in more detail when I get down there Kyle. Um... yeah so... Saturday people started showing up a little before noon... Chris Belanger showed up first, along with Justin, Kevin, Jessi, and NaToni. I GOT MY ID! So we all walked down to the store... well not really all.. but Justin, Jen, NaToni, Jessi and me and bought cigerettes from Kenebec Market... they kept on walking to Cumby's and I met them there. I bought Capichino's for anyone who wanted them and then we all started walking back to my house and ran into Pow-Pow so he fallowed us up to the party. I started filming in the living room... Mike kept being dumb and ruining it all so I had to record over a bunch of stuff... Um... somehow the party switched to being in my room so I had to re-set up the camera and I filmed some more... Then I got really positive and can't really remember too much but it's all on tape. Doug, James, Cora, Megan, Sean, ... I'm trying to think... anyways a lot of people ended up coming and a lot of people ended up not coming but hopefully tomarrow after school (it's a half day) more people will be coming over so I can film some more before I have to go to night school... the party had a good turn-out at least... Jen's cake turned out really yummy and there was a paper ball fight and... anyways Kyle you'll see it all when I bring the tape down to you... only 2 more days... I think I'll be posting this tomarrow from school so... by then it will be one more day till I leave and 3 more days till I see you... god I love you Kyle... I can't wait to be with you!

Everyone left around 6pm... so it was just Kevin, Justin, Jen, NaToni, and me... Jessi had disapeered around 2ish for an apointment or something. I had to go into work at 7 on Bangor st... yay... but guess who showed up... yep... my friends... Jen, Kevin, NaToni and Justin all showed up with Uncle Shawn... I wiped down the whole lobby so I could talk to them... then I went out for a cigerette and they came out with me and then left... when I went back inside I saw that those losers left a mess for me to clean up... grr.... anyways I went home at like 9:30pm and everyone was at my house waiting for me to get done work so Justin and Kevin could leave to Uncle Sahwn's for the night. After the boys left I went to sleep for an hour or two... woke up and hung out with Jen watching the tape and talking all night again... Sunday I went to work all pissed off cause I didn't get enough sleep... Jen didn't leave till like 4 or 5am. She woke me up for work at 8ish... the first sandwhich of the day was.... CHRIS MCINNIS! yep... I was like... ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod... He got turkey with American cheese and after I cashed him out I was like "Did you go to Cony?" and he's like "yeah and I dropped out. You hung out with Monica alot right?" and I'm like "yeah"... ahhhhh he knew who I was... all of a sudden I didn't feel so tired and pissed off... the double chicken breast and Veggie lady came in and I told he I was leaving... she asked Scott if he was gonna take over for me but we don't know who's gonna take my shifts so... yeah... but at least I got to say goodbye... she's by far my favorite customer. I went home at like 1:30pm and Jessi was sick so I rushed around to find her a ride to the hospital... I paid Laura and Russell to bring her. Before Jessi knew that Russell was gonna give her a ride everyone else was gonna walk her to the hospital but then I got her a ride so she didn't have to walk. Um... after I told her Justin was all "Tiffy I love you..." and I'm like "you want a cigerette" and he's like "no, though I do want one that wasn't what I was gonna ask you... I want vicodin" and I was like "I'm not gonna buy you drugs" and he's like "fuck you Tiff" and he got all pissed off... how the hell was I suppose to know that he didn't want them for himself but for someone who was really hurting. Then I walked Jessi down the hill to Russell's car and she asked me to go with her so she didn't have to be alone but I was like "I won't get to see Justin and Jen again before I leave but I'll get to see you" so I didn't go with her... I should have though because Jen and Justin didn't hang out with me anyways... when I went back up the hill they were all at the end of the road so I called out to Jen and she ran back and I was like Where are you going?" and she's like "Kevin is taking me to Chinese and Justin is taking NaToni"... I noticed that Kevin was wearing Kyle's hoodie and he hadn't asked to use it... I had been looking for it the day before and I asked him where it was and he said he didn't know so I got all mad... it's like... that's the only thing of Kyle's that I have really and Kevin was stealing it... I played around on the computer trying to burn Justin a cd which took 5 hours to burn and then skipped by the way... it got done 2 hours after he left which totally pissed me off... anyways... justin left at 5pm... then an hour later Jen left and her grazndmother also took Jessi home so it was down to Kevin, NaToni and me... at 7pm NaToni left and me and Kevin were left all alone... as we were walking back to my house I was like "Kevin... I missed you this weekend" and he's like "funny how that happens huh?" so we went inside and layed on my bed and listened to music... Rose came over and told Kevin that he had to go home at 8pm to watch a movie with her because they needed to have "family time" so we went to Cumby's so I could buy cigerettes and when we got home... or.. well to my house... we needed to smoke up with Nick... we would have been 17 minets late for the movie but when we went to Kevin's Rose told us that the movie didn't really start till 9pm... so we went back to my house and listed to some more music on the xbox till 9pm when we went over to Kevin's and watched Category 7... which by the way was a great movie! It was "to be continued" for next Sunday... which I will miss because I will be with Kyle... yay! Rose said she'd tape it for me and mail it to me the next day but then Kevin was like "but then Kyle will only see the secound half of the movie" so I was like goddamnit! The movie got done at 11pm and I went home and to bed... Kevin and Nick tried to wake me up in the morning to get *positive* with them but I was too tired so I wouldn't get up... I din't go into school till like 11 something... it was B lunch so I went and hung out with people in the cafe including Kevin... *sighs*... then I went to phychology... we went to the library and I have to do a research paper or some shit because I won't be around for presentations... some girl at the next table over was talking about guys and "boners' and she brought up Kevin so I tuned in... she said that "In 8th grade, this Kevin Tilkins guy walked around with a boner like it was no big deal"... I was like... yep that sounds like Kevin lol... I got a message in the office... it was Laura wanting me to call Subway. I went outside and waited across the street for Kevin... handed out like 6 cigerettes.... asked Kevin to walk with me to Subway but he got Justin Degrennia to let me use his phone so I called and Laura said she wanted me to watch the kids so Rusell could go to the docters because something was wrong with his teeth again... I talked Kevin into walking with me... we stopped at Hannafords and I bought cigerettes...Russell's apointment was at 4 and Kevin got sick of hanging around so he asked mom to use Nick's bike to ride down to the skatepark...Carla (stupid bitch) asked him what he was doing in her cellar and practically dragged him back in mom's house to ask if he was suppose to be in the cellar... she also told mom that she brought our 7 day notice to quit so I probably won't have a house to come home to when I get back from Kyle's... at 6 something I went with Mom and Sam and we went to the library so sam could drop off and pick up a book... then to the dollar store because I needed razors and some other stuff for my trip. Then we went to movie gallery so I could get a memebership and rent Cruel Intentions 2... we went home and Kevin was at my house babysitting... once Laura and Russell got home me and Kevin retreated to my room and watched the movie... ohmygod... it had a lot of sex scenes in it and for the first time in my life I wished I had a dildoe... first time ever!... Kevin told me to ask his mom... I was like "eeeeewwww" no way! Kevin was like "I need to get laid" and I was like "I'm right here" ... we were just joking though peoples... he went home and to bed... it was like 9:30 or so.. Tuesday... I didn't have to go to school so I slept till like noon or something... woke up and went to moms to use the computer till... like... 4:20... then I went home and got ready for work. Matt's car broke down and I got all pissed off because everybody wanted me to take a cab and I hate cabs... Derek finally got Matt's car to start so he drove me to work (Derek did) I worked for 3 hours and while I was working Jessi called wanting me to go visit her after work. Frist I went home so I could spend some time with Kevin before I leave but Kevin just wanted to sleep so it was a waste of time... I was like "I want to spend time with you" and he was like "I care" and rolled over... he actually made me cry beacuse I love him so much and I'm really gonna miss him... alot! I went over to mom's and started working on Kyle's cds....and then here I am... lonely and thinking about how much I'm gonna miss Kevin while I'm gone... I'm happy I'm gonna get to see Kyle... I mean... I've worked so ha for this and I love Kyle so much too... I'm just... I'm really gonna miss Kevin and he doesn't even seem to care that I'm leaving... he doesn't even want to spend time with me. God now I'm crying for the oppisette reason of what I was crying about 4 months ago... 4 moths ago I was crying because I wasn't gonna see Kyle for a long time... and now that I'm going to see Kyle... I'm crying because I'm gonna miss Kevin... I am such a baby! I'm gonna go now.

Long time

So it's been a week since I posted or even read any of my friends blogs... this past week has been so busy, so let's do this in order.

Monday - after school I went across the street and down the road and smoked a cigerette with Kevin. Then went back inside and took a physchology test that I'm pretty sure I failed. Whatever it's better than a zero. Called Matt's cell and mom was at Laura's. Matt told me he wasn't my "slave"... making me think I had to walk but he did send mom.... she found me near Hannaford's walking home. I got home and Kevin and Doug were waiting for Sean so they could go to the skatepark... Doug was wearing his blue button-up that looks just like Kyle's so I was like "Doug you're Kyle for Halloween too" and he's like "Yay I'm a Mexican!"... Then Kevin wanted to be Kyle too so he put on his white tiger button-up that Kyle wore in the video and he wore the hat that matches Kyle's (which I lost since).


Kyle... I'm gonna write you a note on the special to you only blog either later or tomarrow... I love you

well studyhall is over... gotta go to phychology... hopefully I can finish this later