what's up?

"And Tiff im glad my last post made you so happy... Its a wonder that you act so suprised when you find out that your my best friend and i love you. Shit ive been telling you that for 2 years. But tiff we are gonna live together all of us and you know what the best part about it is. The state is gonna pay for it all.. muahahahaha. Fuck the state! ok sorry anyways keep it real and try to get those songs. peace out." Lol... he's such a liar.. he hasn't been telling me that for two years... it's been maybe 2 months if that. Before he would say I was his best friend one day and hate me the next and call me names and I don't know... but other bad things that showed I was not his best friend and he did not love me and now he does and that does make me feel happy. As long as Justin, Kyle, and Kevin love me I'm happy... if a certain one of them found out something about me that made them hate me... I would so seriously kill myself... but since they all know pretty much everything about me... I'm happy...
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Gonna see Kyle in 25 days.... yay yay yay! I so cannot wait... well that's only if he calls me soon... Damn! I haven't talked to him in 12 days and I can barely stand it.... grrrr... my phone is messed up so it might not be that he hasn't tried but that he couldn't get through.
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Darn... phones suck ass sometimes.... a while back Kyle and me would talk on the phone for hours upon hours because he had a cell phone that had free incoming calls and it was bought in Maine, in Augusta so it wasn't long distance even though he was in Iowa... but then my phone got shut off... and then my phone got turned back on and his cell phone got shut off... and then I would call his cousin Josh's (who is so totally cool by the way) and talk to Kyle from my mom's cell phone... but then Josh's number got disconnected too and soon after that my mom's cell got turned off so me and Kyle didn't talk for an entire month before he came back to Maine... he called once (his mom made him) to tell me he was coming like the day he left... then I had 30 days to talk to him basically whenever I need to.... except when he went to stay at Cathie's with Kevin for like 2 days... and then he had to leave and go back to Iowa... and I cried for 3 days straight... until he called me to tell me he was home and safe... I even cried in front of Karma and Newcomb and I made Kevin stay with me every night for over a week because between Kyle, Jen, and Leola a few times I hadn't slept alone in... i don't know... two weeks before Kyle left... I was so used to always having someone there and I got scared being alone for a while... I mean... it was a new apartment and... I don't know... Kyle was just always there and then he all of a sudden just dissapeered... *tears*... but... even though phones suck lol... I get to go see Kyle soon no matter what... basically what I need to ask Kyle is to have him ask if I could stay a little longer than I thought I was gonna... I mean... I don't want to spend like $150 just to stay with him for a week... so I wanna spend two weeks... hopefully and if I can't then... I don't know... I sleep on the sidewalk as long as I get to see him...
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I have $340 saved up so far... Justin said he has close to $500 when he went down to Iowa with Elena... but he also said he ate Chinece all the time and was "living large" for a while there... well I'm not gonna be stupid and just waste all my money... I know how to budget and stuff... all I will need to buy is like food.. I "bought" little travel sized shampoo and conditioner and deoderant and toothpaste and... well all kinds of things for when I'm down there.... and things should be like super expensive or anything... it's not like I'm going to California or New York for vacation... it's Iowa!
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Wow the library is like really cold... air conditioner...
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I hate not being able to use the computer at my mom's house... I need to download some songs bad...
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Ok... here's my notes:
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Justin - I love you... you are the "bomb"
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Kyle - 557-1449 call it if you can't get through on my home phone... it's Matt's cell... I love you!
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Kevin - um... I was writing something but deemed it unapproproate for the net... something along the lines of "***** **** ** ***** please"... anyways... I love you lots and lots too!
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Jenyfer - sorry you've been so sick... even sorryer (is that even a word?- that can't be how it's spelled if it is) I heard about it by third party information... I miss being able to talk to you and not have to hear about you from everybody else and their brother lol... get it... Justin and Kevin... brothers... not that you'll read this anyways but I love you.
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Jessi - yeah I agreed, it doesn't matter... I still think you're a totally cool person... I just... I didn't really want you living with us anyways... I don't want any of my friends to live with me.... not for a very, very long time... visiting is like... ok... but I am one of those types of people who gets sick of seeing the same people every single day.... unless that person is Kyle... him I could live with... I mean... I get sick of Kevin all the time... and I use to get sick of Justin all the time... (I better get my own sectional boy, lol) Leola, Jen, Kiwi, Angelina, Ashley, Lisa, Amanda, Brett, Nick... I get sick of everyone eventually. It's not just you... but the fact that my family all decided they liked you more than me... that they were trying to replace me... don't tell me that wouldn't make you hurt inside? Wow I wrote more to you than I have to anyone else... hell everyone else put together... how odd... yeah so.... yep... that's it.
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Nick - ha I did read your blog and I did comment so hahahahaha
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um... I love my myspace site... people should all definatly sign up... but not Kyle and Justin... at least not yet... let me sign up for you so that I can load up pics of you boys and then I will hand them over to you and you can do whatever you want with them...
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brr my hands are seriously like really cold from typing and stuff... plus I have to go pee... not that that's anyone's buisness... I don't want to lose my computer and the librarians will kick me off in like 10 minets anyways... so... ttyl... love ya all