"So it comes to this.. soon i will be out of group homes forever and i cant wait. My childhood is in my past and adulthood is in my present and future. I will be getting a job to save up for my own place and then ill be on my own. working and going to school. ive decided to study law as my major. I got my grades from my computer science class and the official grade is an A+. thats fucking awesome. And when ive made something of myself ill look back for but a second and spit in the face of everyone who doughted me in the past. my ambition is second only to my love for those i care about. and i find myself resonsidering people ive held in this catagory of my mind for a long time. Why is it that people get pig headed and jealous? If they cant have something then they will hate the person who has what they want. its sickening actually just to see it take place. But im not gonna let anything bother me. im gonna go about my life as i wish and anyone who has a problem with it can bite me. im gonna do what i want and love who i want and anyone with a problem with it can burn in hell.. " <--- Why do I feel like that is directed at me.....???? Well Justin I don't want you anymore for one thing and 2.... I'm not pig headed... I was just mad at her at the time.... and I'm sorry if you don't love me anymore because I didn't want to walk in my pajamas across the street during a blizard just so you could talk to Jessi... when she wasn't even home anyways... she was at a basketball game... not that I knew that.... but it was snowing hard and I was in my pajamas.... whatever.... I still love you even if you think I should burn in hell....

Kyle... nice job calling me back last night... I love you too....

Kevin.... today I found myself thinking of you and our.... "friendship".... I thought about how.... when Kyle and Justin were around.... it was different... from when I got to know you... me and you were together every single day for about 8 months.... everyday.... you were my best friend.... Kyle and I got so close over phone conversations... and if it weren't for the fact that I was the only one of Justin's friends to care enough to find ways to call him while he was trapped... me and Justin wouldn't be so close... but with you.... it was just different.... and I loved any mineut of it.... I'd like to say I'm letting go of you and the idea that maybe you will love me... but... I can't... not yet... even though I haven't seen you in 27 days I still love you and miss you more and more everyday.... Forever and Always...

NaToni.... hello girlfriend.... I love you and I'm sorry I forget about you a lot on my blog.... it's mostly the fact that I can't get in touch with you... so when I'm bitching about not having a friend to call when I'm depressed I do know you're there for me... I just can't get ahold of you so you aren't much help... I still love you.

Jen... Thanx so much for the 2 wonderful christmas presents.... I just love "tinkerbelle"..... lol... and I love you...

Leola... I tink I may call you tonight.... for I have some big news to tell you about our dear friend Kyle and his feelings for you... or should I say lack there of....

Tori... If you read this... leave me a comment woman! I love you! March 3rd be ready.... forever and always...


What's been up?
hey everybody who reads this... if I forgot you in my notes then I'm sorry.... those were just the people on my mind at this particular moment... lots of Kevin filled thoughts.... god I miss him... so mostly since Jen's left I've just been sleeping all day and staying up all night watching tv or cleaning... I'm bored.... I actually kinda miss Jessi.... she's fun to hang with... we're gonna get drunk off strawberry wine when she gets back... just like the song... which happens to remind me of Kevin! OH OH OH... I changed my voicemail message today... it's a little long though... it's "fuck her softly"... lol... I missed Kevin alot today ok... my old one was "I wanna be there"... which reminded me of Kevin too so... yeah... gaaaa... bad thoughts... bad thoughts....