Seeing Justin

Went to Ellsworth to see Justin yesterday.... it's kinda sad but the best part of seeing him is when we're getting ready to leave him. That's when he gives out the hugs. Yesterday was the first time he said he loved me while I was in his arms hugging him without a "platonically". I gave him the letter I wrote him... the one that asks for his forgiveness for cutting myself again. I told him on the stairs on our way down to his room to get money for his mommy... I told him to just read the letter before he got his "magic card" and forgive me. He read like the first sentance and was like "Is this because you like another guy?" and I'm like "no" so he read another couple sentances and was like "You cut yourself again" and I'm like "yea" and he's like "I forgive you" so I gave him it and hugged him really hard. He asked me why and I'm like "Just read the letter" later on the phone I asked him if he had read the rest of the letter and he said he did and that he was glad that cutting again didn't make me feel any better... so I know he really did read it cause that was only in the letter. I didn't tell him that. Anyways... when we got outside and it was time to really say goodbye I hugged him and this is our conversation:...

Me - "I love you Justin"
Justin - "I love you too"
Me - "I'm really sorry, I"ll never do it again"
Justin - "You better not"
Me - "Your my bestest friend"
Justin - "Your my best friend too"
Me - "I love you"
Justin - "I love you too"

*sighs*.... It made me stop thinking about something that has constantly been on my mind..... for like 5 mins I forgot.

Anyways.... guess what everybody KYLE CALLED ME TODAY!!!!!! After I got off the phone I screammed really loud so my sister knocked on the door and asked me why I screamed and I started to jump up and down in my door frame and I hit my head. Now I have a big lump on my head but it was all worth it for Kyle.... my bestest friend in the whole world other than Justin.....

well... it's almost 4:20 so I gotta go upstairs for a few... I'll be back lol..