Ok so new blog entry I guess I'm sorta in a good mood. Sorta. It kinda sucks though. Me being happy causes my friends to be sad. I wish they could be happy more than myself. I mean I hate being depressed but I hate it worse when my friends are depressed. I don't know what's going on with me. Jen made me promise to keep a secret on our friendship and then I found out that Kyle somehow knows. He said that she told Justin. Whatever as long as I didn't break my promise to her I'm all good. She is one of my bestest friends now. I trust her a lot and she's really cool to talk to. What will I do this summer when Justin and Kevin are in Tennesse or wherever and Kyle is in Iowa and Jen is in Conneticut? Who will I have to talk to? All I'll have left is Kiwi. And sure I love Kiwi right to death, but she doesn't know as much about me as Kyle and Justin do. No one ever will. Kyle knows stuff about me I've never told anyone. I love that kid so much he is just the coolest, sweetest, funniest, (sexiest), boy I've ever met! And he's so cool to just hang around with and he's moving in 2 and a half weeks. Then what will I do? I'm gonna miss him so goddamn much! Why is my life so complicated? All my friends move away on me. I love a boy who doesn't love me back. My family is made up of a bunch of lozers. Why? Why me? Why can't I just get to be happy? You know what my perfect life would be? Me and Justin would be together. We'd have an apartment with Kyle and Kevin as our roomates. Jen and Leola and Jaylyn and Larry and Ashley and Mellissa and Kiwi and Nick and everyone would all live in our neighborhood. I would be skinny! I would see Travis more often. Donny would still be around. I look back now at last year and I think wow that was perfect but at the time I thought my life sucked. Jaylyn and Larry were my best friends and I went to school with Travis. Of course I didn't know Jen or Nick but I would have met them eventually anyways right? Donny was going to breakdancing every Thursday. I had fun last year. School wasn't too great but then again it never is. And I wasn't as close to Kyle and Justin and Kevin as I am now but that was only cause Justin hated me (he knows why) I miss last year. It wasn't so bad looking back now. Leola still lived in Augusta and everything. I may have said I didn't want her this weekend it's just I wanted to be alone this weekend ya know. I don't know. I usually can't stand being all alone but for some reason I wanted this weekend to myself. I have a lot of studying to do to catch up in Acctounting and stuff. Plus I thought Jessi was coming so I would need alone time to cut and stuff. She doesn't let me do that (hypocrite) I don't know???? I just wanted to be alone for once. What is wrong with me. God I wish I had said she could stay. Now I feel bad and I'm lonely because Kyle went home at like 9 something and Justin left a little while ago at like 11 something. I don't know. You know what I just thought of? Kevin! Kevin won't get to see Kyle again before he leaves for Iowa. I hope he can get Sarah to let him come up sometime before Kyle leaves. They were best friends and stuff. Oh god why? Why do I have to love someone who doesn't love me back hmm??? Whatever my life sucks and soon I'll have no one left to share my misery with..... someone please help me!
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AND WHERE THE HELL IS JUSTIN? HE SAID HE WOULD COME OVER AFTER HE GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH JESSI AND ITS 2:30 IN THE MORNING, HE CAN'T STILL BE TALKING TO HER CAN HE?