Justin feels worthless and rejected. I feel worthless and rejected. We're both so perfect for each other. I talked to him on Runescape finally. He's mad at us, his friends, he says we betrayed him. If you must know, ask in person. But yeah. He wanted me to give him one reason not to kill himself and the only reason I could give him was because there is someone out there who truly loves him and would do anything for him and he goes who you? Or something like that. And I know I'm not a good enough reason for Justin but hopefully he won't it'll hurt me so much if he kills himself I myself wont be able to go on. I will kill myself too. I love him, but I'm dumb and do stupid stuff so he doesn't want me and he wont ever want me I'm not good enough. No Matter how much I love him it's not good enough. What is so wrong with me? What??? It's not fair.
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Anyways I'm really close to Jen now. Sorry Kiwi but me and Jen have been hanging out together a lot and we got really close last night when she slept over. I told her the biggest secret I had ever kept up to that point in my life and she told me a big secret too. Last night was a spilling of secrets bad... Anyways yeah so Jen's my best girl/friend now. I love her. And I'm sorry if I ever do anything that could ever hurt you in the past, present, or future. I'm really sorry, I love you. I hope you don't get in trouble, we didn't even go out at midnight did we?
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Justin,
I really love you and I know that I'm not enough for you but I am your friend please don't do anything you'd regret. Please don't make me read about you on the front page of the KJ again for showing up dead somewhere. I love you, and I worry about you, and I know you don't like it but I really am gonna stop cutting. Last night was the last time. Hey I stopped making myself throw up for Jen. If you seriously don't want me to I will stop. This isn't an ultimatum but I wish in return you would come back to Augusta, I miss you so much and not being able to talk to you is killing me like crazy. I love you boy. I wish you loved me but you don't and I'm dealing not to well but I am dealing so try to help me out of this and I will do anything you want me to. I mean it. I will do anything for you to be happy. So if I have to stop cutting I will. I can do it for you. But I seriously thought you didn't care that's what you told me. Well that's it. Gotta publish this and go to bed. I love you again. Remember even if you don't love me, that someone out there loves you for who you are and wants to be around you and talk to you and be there for you if you'd just let them. Don't forget that someone loves you. It doesn't matter that it's only me just remember that there's someone who feels for you and be happy. And I'm gonna try to stop complaining to you all the time since we don't have much time to talk nowadays and your annoyed with it. I miss you, I really hope u come back today......
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Luv Ya Lots,
***Tiffy ~ Jean***