Lips of An Angel

Oh my god I have heard the saddest song ever written and it is called "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder... ohmygod... it is so going onmy myspace profile... It makes me cry uncontrablly.... it reminds me of Kyle and Kevin and in a weird way Laura but for a whole different reason... I have this song on repeat on my desktop...

Honey why you calling me so late? it's kinda hard to talk right now...
Honey why you crying? is everything ok?
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud (Kyle cause I always call late at night and when his niece and nephew are asleep)

well....

my girl's in the next room,
sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on.... (well niether one of them liked me so, but it's hard getting over Kevin...maybe I'm not...)

it's really good to hear your voice
saying my name it sounds so sweet (both of them)
coming from the lips of an angel (Kyle once told me he was depressed because he made 2 angels cry... Tori and me... so there's the angel thing)
hearing those words it makes me weak
where as I never want to say goodbye (both of them)
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel... (Kevin)

it's funny that your calling me tonight
and yes I dreamed of you too
does he know your talking to me when its not a fight
no I don't think she has a clue...(Kevin)

my girl's in the next room,
sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on....

it's really good to hear your voice
saying my name it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak
where as I never want to say goodbye
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel... {Guitar solo}

it's really good to hear your voice
saying my name it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak
where as I never want to say goodbye
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel...

never want to say goodbye
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel...

honey why you calling me so late?

I miss those boys so much... I remember so much from the Kevin era... but I'm starting to forget the Justin stuff.... my memory is being clouded by so much smoke.... I rememeber a few choice times with Justin... but I can remember whole volumes of Kevin stuff without looking at it in my old blogs or in a diary... I always read back to Justin and though I still talk about him... I'm always talking about how I love him not all my fun memories with him... because the truth is... I don't remember ever having any fun with Justin with the exseption of Christmas Eve - Eve and even then he was using me... wait new years was nice... oh yeah grilled cheese not to memntion he pointed out to me how bad my self-consious was in front of a ton of people.... so that was ruined... um... everytime we've seen each other since he left for Cathie's was a bad time... something fun would be ruined... and then there was the night he said something really really really rude to me, kyle, and brett, and only I remember it because everyone was on magic cards little sleepy ones... but me... or well i was too but i remember and they don't but I may just remember because I'm positive as I type this....
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anyways I have something like very very heavy on my heart and I have absolutely no one to talk to about it.... not even Kyle... it's that big and that much of a secret... I have no one and I'm so scared and so confused over this.... maybe it was always there and I just now notice it... it's a little embarassing.... ok it's a lot embarassing... I hate my brain always getting so mixed up.... goddamn it I bet I'll end up telling Kyle... I will too and then will I be in some trouble.... will he hate me for this?? I may now be scared of dying... I admit it... I am.... I'm scared now... fuck suiside... my sister was reading the mormon bible and then reading the parts in the bible that say the same thing and it said IN THE KING JAMES VERSION OF THE HOLY BIBLE that when we die that's it... there is no heavan... there is no hell... there is nothing... you cease to exist... there is nothing.... ok maybe I said I was agnostic before but... this like totally scares the fuck outta me... I mean I know I wouldn't go to heaven if it existed but I beleived in hell... yes I always believed in hell... I believed it to be someplace after death... that I wouldn't be gone I would just be in a different place and now I believe I wouldn't go anywhere I would be dead....no more writing...no more internet... no more reading.... no more friends... no more sex.... no more food.... no more frosting... no more anything cause I would be dead... no more waking out of a dead sleep at 2 oclock in the morning eastern time to call Kyle after he gets outta work.. no more goofing off with Jen...no more making out with Jesy, no more shopping with Tori... no more gaby, no more lizzie, no more Jimmy, no more vada, no more music, no more movies... no more nothing, and that scares the hell outta me.... yeah so I'm not suisidal anymore.... I'm too scared now... before I was scared I would be hurt real bad and not die and then I would be watched all the time and go to a crazy hospital and stuff... now I'm just scared of dying at all...