Whatever happens from now on... happens ...

Justin’s horoscope for the day: You've got some really good friends, and they're there to help you if you need it.

Lol.. we were talking on the phone and I was like “You're horroscope today said something about you getting a bunch of money" and he's like "My one on yahoo said I had really good friends that I could rely on" and I'm like "Kyle and me" and he's like "I wasn't including you on that one" and I'm like "Huh?" and he's like "actually you were the first one I thought about" and from the way he said it... I knew it was the truth.

Nowadays he's the only one that can make me feel good. Just talking about Runescape and life and stuff with him... even if there's a lot of things I'm keeping from him.... it still makes me feel so much better... and he's the only one who can do that.

I know I still love him... but maybe this time it's for real... maybe this time.. I'm not in love with him anymore... I mean.. I know the guy I do think I love doesn't care one bit about me... but Justin never did either. And... well... this new guy and me... have something... at least a little something if not a lot. And I'm not quite sure wether it's love or lust... but I'd like to think love more than lust. Then it wouldn't feel so bad. I don't know.... maybe I should give up on him... and all guys... and girls... maybe I should be celebit (sp?) or something. It would save so many problems that have arizen. I don't know... I'm so confused. It's like one day I hate him... the next I love him... the next I want to fuck him... I am so confused... and it's not even like he likes me... why do I even try?

I have my first counceling session tomarrow at 4pm... boy do I have a lot to get off my cheast. Hopefully I'll feel comfortable with this person because I need to tell someone all this crap hidden behind walls in my brain. Some of the stuff that I even keep from Kyle...

Cancer & Scorpio:

When Cancer and Scorpio make a love match, the resulting relationship draws together the energies of two emotionally intense Signs. Signs such as these often combine well, each partner's strengths balancing the other's weaknesses. These Signs feel a strong sexual attraction, and when they are together the temperature in the room tends to rise! Cancer and Scorpio have a great deal in common, and much potential to keep their relationship passionate and going strong.

Cancer and Scorpio enjoy buying things together and creating a comfortable living space: Cancer craves security and Scorpio strives for power. Both occupy their minds with thoughts of domestic goods and resources, including stocks, bonds and inheritances. Since they are both concerned with the home and have fierce loyalties to the family group, Cancer and Scorpio complement each other well. They both see life as a passionate and deeply emotionally exercise of human connection.

The Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, while Mars (Passion) and Pluto (Power) both rule Scorpio. Thanks to Pluto's powerful influence, this is an intense combination of Planets, but it's also a good balance of masculine and feminine energy. These two Signs coming together form the basic foundation of human relationships -- The Moon's nurturing love and Mars' ambition and passion. The Moon and Mars go well together; the Moon is about growth and rebirth, and Mars is about the passion of romance. Scorpio, influenced by that Martian energy, is smoldering and intense, and emotional Cancer is attracted to this intensity. In turn, Scorpio enjoys the adoration inherent to Moon-ruled, nurturing Cancer.

Cancer and Scorpio are both Water Signs. Both are very deep Signs and, like the ocean, you can never really see to the bottom of these two. Scorpio and Cancer may draw further and further into themselves, then suddenly roar back with intimidating force. Loyalty is strong with this love match, thanks to their mutual desire for emotional security. But while Cancer fixes their emotional energy on the family and home, Scorpio focuses more on life's nuances and undertones, the secrets behind other's intentions, the power they can wield over other's emotions. Scorpio can take Cancer on a journey beyond the literal surface of things, and Cancer's expansive heart can open Scorpio up to their own emotions, teaching their Scorpio mate that feeling is nothing to fear. Additionally, Scorpio appreciates their Cancer mate's practicality, and Cancer really enjoys Scorpio's jealousy -- it proves that Scorpio really loves and cherishes them.
Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Scorpio is a Fixed Sign. Once this couple have a common wish, it will come true. However, if their opinions clash, look out! Cancer will be the first to instigate an argument and Scorpio the last to finish it. Cancer may seem to act as the dominant partner and manage to get their way more often, but that isn't always the truth. Sometimes Scorpio won't even agree to disagree, they just might pretend to give in. Neither Cancer nor Scorpio are beyond using emotional manipulation to get revenge. Rather than letting disagreements and bad feelings boil over, these love partners must discuss what's truly important to them in order to reach an equitable compromise. Once Scorpio and Cancer learn to trust and believe in one another, they can achieve almost anything through sheer determination. This love relationship will only fail if the two partners truly cannot overcome their opinionated, stubborn sides.

What's the best thing about the Cancer-Scorpio love match? Their powerful teamwork when they agree on their goals. When Cancer realizes that Scorpio is there for the long haul and that the partnership is emotionally productive, this relationship can blossom. Their mutual determination makes theirs a relationship of formidable strength.

This is exacally how he is:

Scorpio loves to be mysterious. Scorpio is more secretive and inscrutable. Scorpio is smoldering and intense (and intensely sexual Scorpio can ""win"" through more devious means, such as employing emotional manipulation to get what they want. They are like the volcano not far under the surface of a calm sea, it may burst into eruption at any moment. Their tenacity and willpower are immense, their depth of character and passionate conviction overwhelming, yet they are deeply sensitive and easily moved by their emotions. Their sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes make them easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to themselves (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger. They relate to fellow workers only as leaders and can be blunt to those they dislike to the point of cruelty. In fact they are not above expressing vindictiveness in deliberate cruelty. They are too demanding, too unforgiving of faults in others, perhaps because they are not aware of the shortcomings within themselves, and extravagantly express their self-disgust in unreasonable resentment against their fellows. They do, however, make excellent friends, provided that their companions do nothing to impugn the honor of which Scorpios are very jealous. Part of the negative side of the Scorpio nature is a tendency to discard friends once they cease to be useful, but the decent native is aware of, and fights this tendency. Scorpio is the symbol of sex and Scorpios are passionate lovers, the most sensually energetic of all the signs.