Crazy House!

Well… I almost got myself sent away to a mental hospital today. I went to see this guy for an evaluation today and he sent me to the ER who called Crisis and Counseling. They didn’t want to let me leave because they were scared I might kill myself. I told those people that it wasn’t my birthday anymore so they didn’t have to worry. That a certain boy happened to tell me that it would be cool if I go out the same day I came in, a couple weeks ago said he hated my fucking guts and hoped I fucking died, and handed me a big ole knife last night… a boy who means so goddamn much to me with very good reasons behind why I care so much about him.

Justin called my cell while I was in the hospital and I answered and told him where I was and stuff. He said he couldn’t call yesterday… on my birthday… because his worker had him out for a long time and they wouldn’t let him call when he got back. Later… when I was out of the hospital and I called him he said that he laid in bed feeling really bad about not calling me on my birthday…. That he thought of it while trying to fall asleep. That he felt really bad…. Awwww…

I told him how when he goes to Skowhegan Jen will only be 8 minuets away (by car) and he said that when he gets his license he’s gonna go pick up Jen and bring her to a cheap motel and… blah, blah, blah… and I’m like “You better not replace me with her again” and he asked when he did that and I said … uh… well I can’t put what I said online but… yeah… he didn’t remember doing it but he did. I have it in a chat from when he was at Cathi’s and I printed it out and everything.

Anyways… I wouldn’t let them take me to any mental hospitals… not that my friends are hanging out with me or anything but…. I didn’t want to go with Jen and Lee suppose to be sleeping over and stuff…where would they go.

When I got out of the car Jen ran across the street in front of a car to come and hug me for a long time… that was nice. She really cares. Kyle came and hugged me too. Lee had to go to Untie Mitsy’s… it wasn’t her fault. Kevin… well.. he didn’t care… he never does.

Kyle tried to give me my birthday present but I didn’t want it…

Grrrrr… I hate these people who call themselves my fucking friends… they have no respect for me and my rules of my room. Obviously they don’t care about me as much as they try to say they do…. Whatever!

Aaaaahhhh…. And they wonder why I think no one cares about me and shit. Goddamnit!


Lee, Jen, and Kyle’s song to me:

EVE 6 LYRICS

"Friend Of Mine"

Are you feeling that you're on the brink
Of spilling some red in the sink
It wasn’t the easiest year
No I don’t want you to go

Are the memories too hard to take
Rape is a word with a face
No I don’t want you to go
You know I don’t want you to go

Friend of mine stay alive
Don’t you leave me here
All alone in the world with a chronic tear
I will always be here, I will always be here
I will always be here for you

We walked the promenade in the rain
With Velcro shoes and an ice cream stain
You’re the only one who understands
Remember the Blake said to make sure you wake
And help save your generation

No I don’t want you to go
You know we don’t want you to go

Friend of mine stay alive
Don’t you leave me here
All alone in the world with a chronic tear
I will always be here, I will always be here
I will always be here for you

Don’t look back
The past is just that
We are We are We are We are
Awake

Friend of mine stay alive
Don’t you leave me
Friend of mine stay alive
Don’t you leave me
I will always be here
I will always be here

Friend of mine stay alive
Don’t you leave me here
All alone in the world with a chronic tear
I will always be here, I will always be here
I will always be here for you





My lyrics:

Adam’s Song by Blink 182

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
…
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
…
I never conquered, rarely came
…
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
…
I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
…
Please tell mom this is not her fault


yeah I'll put some more on later but I gotta get off the computer now....







I love you NaToni!... I know you read this lol.