I hope all is well in heaven cause it’s all shot to hell down here

Great… just great… I’m crying… wanna know why… 3 weeks that’s why. 3 Weeks you gotta be kidding me… I have waited and waited and waited for that boy to come back to Maine and he’ll only be staying for 3 weeks…. I hate it here… I wish I could just disconnect from everyone and everything and be ok with it… I wish I wasn’t so emotional and attached…. Justin, Jen, Lee, Kevin, Kiwi, Michaela, NaToni, Jami, Alicia, Monica, Cora, Nick, Emily, Jaylyn, Becca, Erin, Melissa, Russell, Megan, Cindy, Bethie, Lisa, my family… anyways… I gotta get down to lunch… bbl to write more…. I’m so much more depressed now then I was half an hour ago….
.
.
ok back for more typing...
.
Well.... huh.... my mind just went numb.... never mind that though... how is everyone?... I'm depressed because a lot of bad shit is going down. Crashing hard into the ground in my life.... Kevin.... Justin.... Leola.... Kiwi..... Kyle now too.... I know it's not his fault but.... what am I gonna do without him... 3 weeks?.... eye eye eye.... I hate his mother.... I swear I do.... he can save money up here too. I'll make him get a job and make him save the money... hell I'd give him money from my paychecks when I get a job if he stays longer... it would be worth every penny of whatever I make.... he means the world to me. I told Kiwi that Kyle was more important then her and everyone else in this state put together including Justin and she got all pissed off at me. Well yah know what.... I can't help it. Kyle's been there for me through some pretty rough times and I owe the world to him for it. I love that boy. More than I love Justin that's for sure... I mean I love Justin... I'm in love with Justin. And I would never be able to choose between them... my head would like explode trying to choose but....yeah... I really love Kyle and I need him more than anyone could possibly realize. Damnit... why is it always me... drama, drama, drama, in my life..... I want a cushy lifestyle... why can't I have a cushy lifestyle?.... whatever I'm outtie.