Depressed again???

Well... this sucks... I finally realized how much I actually like Nick. It's weird because I love Justin so much but I really like Nick. He was here visiting my brother and he said something funny and I was like... wow I can't have him. He turned me down and I didn't even think I'd care ya know. I liked him but it really wasn't that big of a deal but now he's turned me down and suddenly it is a big deal. Kyle thinks I'm dumb because I feel bad about a guy turning me down who I would have turned down myself if he asked me out. I don't know about that. I might have said yes to him just to have a boyfriend again. I really miss having a boyfriend. Sure I get to mess around with a bunch of really hott guys while I'm single but having a boyfriend whould be so nice and comfortable ya know???....
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Yesterday I stayed home sick cause this cold I have was being horrible right. I called Kyle and guess what.... he stayed home sick from school for having a cold yesterday too. Weird huh? I love him so much though. I told Kyle that I love him more than Justin, and all my other friends, and even my family. He said he wished he could say that about me but his family, esspecially his sisters, mean everything to him so he can't. I told him that's ok, I understand. I really do... I understand that his family has been there for him his whole life always through all the bad times, well all my worst times have been since I've known him, the hardest parts of my life have happened really recently and he's the one that's been there for me - not my family. I love Kyle more than anything in the world. Last night on the phone I told Kyle that I would be totally contect just laying on my bed talking to him on the phone for the rest of my life and he said that by the time we got off the phone our houses would have been relocated to the moon without us knowing it and he would stand up and three bones would break. He would go outside and there would be no gravity and I go "just float to my house then" and he said he would flout over and he'd be like "There's Tiffy's house. Wait how do I stop? There's no gravity ahhhh..." That was so funny. I love that kid.
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I called Justin today... he was a jerk... what else is new?... but he wanted to go out for a fab with some other kids so he goes "bye love and kisses peace" and I'm like "I love you" and he's like "peace" and we hung up.
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Today in night school all I did was work on my website... people should check it out. I wrote a song and there's a link to it from my front page. Plus I put up three new poems. Hurt, Kiss Me, and I Never Deserved You. The Song is called "Give Me Another Chance" and it's copywrited bitch! LOL! Just kidding, go ahead and steal it, it's not like I have the guts to sing it in front of anyone without a couple hits in me (not even Kyle).
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Well, I guess that's all for now... Life sux and nobody likes it... esspecially me.. I'm gonna go get high now see yall laters..