Well...

I haven't talked to him since last Saturday.... I really miss him.... I'm in night school right now and in a little bit I have to give my speech about Justin and the bomb threat. Tomorrow I get to see him... Maybe for the last time. Although probably not since the whole engagement thing..... I don't know... What if he meets someone at job corps? Whatever, I'm not gonna worry about it cause I know he loves me (LOL, I wish)
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Last night on the phone with Kyle halfway through our conversation I was like "Kyle I love you" and he was like "I love you too" and I was like "Uh-huh sure" and he was like "Oh your right I don't love you now you ruined it and I'm never gonna say it again" I was like "uh" and he changed the subject. When we were about to hang up I was like "Kyle I love you" and he's like "Uh-huh goodnight" and I was like "Kyle your suppose to say it back" and he's like "I told you, you messed it up and I'm never saying it again" I bugged him for a couple minuets and he at the last minuet was like "I love you too Tiffy, goodnight" and hung up. It was so funny and cute and Oh I miss him so much....... I can't wait to go down to Iowa to see him.
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Guess who I've been hanging out with lately..... Jen's sister Jessi. She's been in town all week and I've been like talking to her and stuff. She is a pretty cool person.. I just really wish she didn't have such a history with the guy I love. Like... I wish he never had loved her. She's happy now I guess.... but he's still all.... I don't know... He feels about her the way I feel about him. It's so saddening to know he loves her and not me. I try to give him the world and it still never works out for me. I try to give him everything he could ever want and then I mess up when he gives me a chance to prove myself. Like I wasn't there for him that last fight with OJ. I totally screwed that up. I screw up everything. I hate myself for that (and everything else).
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But I am trying.....
My new quote for my feeling towards Justin is: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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Yeah... so....... that's it.....