Weekend blues...

Well, Justin can't come spend the night no matter what I do. His grandmother wont let him. This sux. She doesn't even want him on Sand Hill at all.
.
But some good news is even though we got all upset around here Kyle has a few more days so I'm happy about that. And get this... Kari might not even want to leave after all which means Kyle won't leave either. But I don't want to get my hopes up because he probably is still leaving.
.
Oh yeah and Kevin isn't coming down this weekend either. He's one of my best friends too but to tell the truth I don't know how much I actually want him coming. I mean...something has changed... Something I found out today made me kinda mad at him. I just need some time to forget or I might go blurting it out the next time I see him and I can't do that. Whatever it's really not that big of a deal and I'll get over it and forget in time just right now it's kinda right there on my mind.
.
Anyway, today I called him and read him Jen's note and told him why she hasn't been calling him and stuff. Then I called Justin and right as he picked up Kyle called me on the home phone so I had a phone on each side and I was relaying messages between the two of them. That was pretty funny. Nick Hodge was here while I talked to Justin and Kyle on the phone and I didn't noticed but he eraser wrote "dump Justin He's a loser" into my mousepad LOL. He's one of Justin's friends and I'm not even dating Justin.
.
I don't know... I think I might be getting over him again but I really really want to see him and just talk to him like old times. Watch the latest episodes of LAWKI and listen too music with him right there singing it in his off-tone voice. Brett is having a party tomorrow night and he's suppose to get Billy Joe to come pick me up so I can go and Justin's gonna try to go too that way I can visit with Justin. I mean that's cool and all but I kinda wanted one-on-one time with Justin to talk and give him a back massage and stuff and I won't be able to do that a t a party unless I drag him off to a separate room. Which at a party he's not gonna want to do that. There will probably be a lot of skinny little pretty girls and he'll be trying to get in their pants all night so I won't be able to talk to him.
.
I don't know. I mean, I know I'm being selfish but I just really want to see one of my best friends and pretend it's all fine with us and nothing has changed. And I don't want to bring up the other guy thing at all. Justin called me a slut and I go "I know" and he's like "you're not suppose to agree with me" and I'm like "but I think I'm a slut too. I think your right Justin" and he's like thinking this isn't any fun her agreeing with me (I know he was thinking it) He likes to try to push my buttons and get me to cry and stuff but if I agree with him it's just no fun for him. I've finally learned that. He's like a little kid. He wants attention so he pisses people off on purpose to get them upset but I'm not gonna let him push my buttons anymore. He's probably not gonna find it fun to hang out with me anymore if he doesn't get any reaction when he teases me but so be it. Whatever, I really don't care if he doesn't get to get the sick pleasure of my pain anymore.
.
I really don't.... Well, I guess that's it for now. I've been up since 6:15am this morning except for like a 10 min nap in Computer and an hour nap on the couch at 6:30 waiting for it to be 7 so I could use the cell phone. So yeah I'm really tired. Gonna post this and go to bed.
.
I love you all.... But Kyle most of all -- you are my best friend and I could deal not seeing Justin for 5 months if it meant being with you. I mean I love him but he don't love me back. I love you and you do (as friends). I need you more than I need him. I need you around so that I can deal with him and all the shit he puts me through so yeah I would give him up if you'd take me with you. I LOVE YOU KYLE JAMES SANCHEZ!