Well

I am so totally sick of this fucking town and these fucking people... I really have no escape... I want to just run and run until I can't run anymore... and keep on going... I want to do as many drugs as I can until I just fucking die... I want to bleed out every last drop of blood in me... I want to bash my head in with a rock and scream till my lungs collapse... I just want it all to be over and I'm not fucking kidding anymore...
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Jenyfer.... you know how much you mean to me... but my mom is right... being your friend doesn't help my life at all... sure you try... you talk to me when I'm depressed and all... but your only 15 years old... you can't save me... nowadays... no one can... I am beyond repair... there is no turning back from this for me.... I am going to kill myself one way or another.... I need to prove to the world that I can do this... I know I can... and then my fucking no good rotten ass mother will finally realize that she fucked up in a huge way...
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Kevin... if you ever read this... thanx for letting me leave earth knowing you care... I love you and I really wish your brother could have forgiven me... I really did love him... but I'm done letting him in... done letting him fuck with my head.... hey... funny how it turns out... he wasn't the one that made me go off the deep end... But Kev... thanx for June 26th and thanks for being nice to me lately... sticking up for me against Aunti Kim and everything... I love you but I just can not handle this anymore...
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well i gotta go...