Missing Kyle... and he's not even gone yet!

So... Jen and Kevin went to stay the night at Aunti Kims tonight... I hope she don't do anything stupid. She's still so very young. I mean... she's only 14 years old. I know they've been together forever but still...

Kyle only has the rest of today, tomarrow, and Friday to be in Maine... he leaves on Saturday but none of us are gonna see him on Saturday. I get so depressed thinking about it. I love him so goddamn much. What is it gonna be like not having him here again?... It was so much easier last time he left. He had a cell phone, I could hear his voice anytime I needed to but now... we have no way to talk or anything and... *tears* I'm gonna miss him so much... no one understands how much Kyle really means to me. Gawddamnit! It's not fair. Sometimes it seems like he's the only one who really cares about me at all and that kills me. What am I gonna do???? Not being able to talk to Justin because those stupid people at that place won't let me, Jen will be in Conneticut for the next 3 weeks so I won't be able to talk to her, (She can't give me her dad's number or anything.) Kyle will obviously be in Iowa, and Kevin... well... he's gonna be at Cathi's for a week and anyways he never really seems to care about me anyways.

Last night Kev was really sweet though. I was laying on his beanbags all sad and he was like standing up smoking a cigerette and I put my arms out to him. He thought I wanted the cigerette but I said I wanted a hug so he gave my brother the cigerette and pulled me up to hug him. I miss that stuff. He just hugged me. Until I let go. It was sweet. He cares... I mean... I know he cares about me... he just doesn't show it too often and I'm one of those people who always like to be remined because I'm really hard on myself and... I don't know... I just want to be loved. God my life sucks so much ass!

Any guys out there want a girlfriend? She's really easy... just say you love her and she'll give you anything you want. Money... clean your room... do your laundry... pretty much everything your too lazy to do yourself she'll do for you if you just tell her you love her on a regular basis. God I am so pathetic! I hate mayself sometimes... this is one of those times by the way.



To My Best Friend:

How strong can
Our friendship actually be?
Will it survive the estrangement
Of you and me?

I believe that it can,
For our friendship is strong
That we'll be forever,
And forever is long!

The memories that we have,
The talks that we have shared
Will always remind me,
Of how very much you cared

What a very special person,
You deserve the very best
Keep your head held high,
And don't worry about the rest

I've always told you many,
Many, times in the past,
That this friendship of ours
Will forever last

No matter how many miles,
Or minutes apart
You'll always have
That special place in my heart

By Sassy