um...k

OK so the important events in my life over the past couple weeks since I last wrote.... Thursday Sept 23rd Michaela and Justin did stuff not actual sex but yeah ... anyway he talked really bad about her afterwards. I hate that! He does that to all the girls he does stuff with. That really makes me love him more...umm...not! So anyway I'm glad I never really did anything with him but kiss him so he can't be too hard on me. I mean I know he called me a slut afterwards and all but still ... he said I was an OK kisser and he's bad (lol) Anyway I think I'm over him....yeah I know...hard to believe huh but it's true. I know I still love him...I mean he's my best friend and all... I just don't think I am still IN love with him. He said he was glad I got over him because he didn't want to "break your heart" your of course being me. Anyway for a couple day I actually thought I like Kyle...but then I remembered that he is only like 15 or something and his birthday is in July so ... yeah he's way too young. Wow I'm reading threw my real diary trying to figure out what is acceptable for my blog and I just can't put a lot of this stuff online darn! OK lol here's something funny, last Monday after the Edge I took Kiwi out to Chinese food and then up to Justin's. She goes "It's pretty sad when the only dates I get are with straight girls." Anyway she and Justin should have a TV show. They would make so much money. They pretend they are married and have 5 kids. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy and Jenny and Jimmy is Justin's favorite. He's the only one that gets to eat. Justin brings home other girls to bed and Kiwi is like OK but Kiwi tries bringing home another guy and he flips out.(lol) Anyway later that same night after Kiwi left we started talking about when I'm 30 and he goes "look me up and I'll fuck the shit out of you" and "It'll be the best you've ever had" and in my head I go of course it will be the best I've ever had I'll be a virgin? He won't do it unless I am not that I'm not gonna try cause I really am. I'm gonna try to fall in love and actually be in love with the guy I lose my virginity to ya know. But If I'm 30 years old and still a fucking virgin that will be really sad who better to lose it to then my best friend ya know. I don't know...... Oh oh oh something funny ... one time when Justin was staying at Kyle's I was getting ready to leave and first I hugged Kyle then I went to hug Justin and he put his hands on my butt and he's all like "Ohh, whoops" lmfao. It was so funny I was all like aaaahh. Jaylyn finally really did move to Waterville by the way. She was my best friend for three years and now she's gone. On her last day I took like a bunch of pictures of her. Jonathan was a homecoming prince lol. Justin thinks it's sad I've lived in Augusta my whole life. He's lived all over the place. He was born in Texas and has lived in Virginia, Louisiana, Florida, Maine (of course) and Germany. Oh by the way Justin finally admitted I was his best friend too. Not Elena. I am so happy about that. I mean he is really my best friend. He was over here till like 4 in the morning and we talked for like forever and he told me all kinds of stuff that I'm so not putting on the Internet and he asked me why I was in love with him and I said "what does it matter, it won't change anything?" and he goes "It might make me feel better about myself" so I said that I loved him because hes funny and intelligent even if he does make stupid decisions and all kinds of things. There was so many other things that made me love him that I just couldn't put into words right then. I don't know. I trust him with everything important to me. I told him all kinds of things I've never told anyone about and he knows my computer password and everything. He is my best friend and I love him. Wow my eyes are tearing up thinking about him moving away from me. I've had a lot of best friends through the years and the closest I've ever come to trusting someone like I trust him was Melissa and I told him something I never even told her. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I mean we had to work through so much to get to where we are as friends. We had to work through my crush on him and my getting jealous of all the other girls that even looked at him which is pretty PSP I realize now but still. Anyway guess what Justin's punishment is for calling in the bomb threat. He has a 9 o'clock curfew and has to go to counseling on Thursdays or every other Thursday or something like that. The 9 o'clock curfew kinda sucks for me too, I mean all the really good conversations I've had with him have taken place after 9. At least he's not going to jail or the youth center or anything.