Maine Medical Center in Portland

I don't know what I should be doing.... Nick is in the other room getting the skin peeled off his face... he was practicing his fire "breathing" which is taking the fuel in his mouth and spraying it at a lit torch... he set his face on fire and I caught it all on film... I don't know if he wants me to post it or not... I don't know anything... I've been crying on and off for like the last 4 hours or longer... I stole Cullen's friends bike{which had no brakes btw} and rode as fast as I could to the hospital... (there was no room in Mike's car because Laura is evicted and today was her last day to move, the car was pretty packed) anyways... I got to the Augusta hospital and was told they have to send Nick to Portland because he's in such critical condition... he could have died!!!! I don't care that he said I could have his laptop if he dies... I don't want him to die... he is my little brother and I love him.... he's my favorite sibling.... he's the only one I can actually call a friend.... if he died.... I wouldn't have anything to stay here for... mom's gonna die soon too and... I just don't know... my little baby brother... all burnt up.... he is never EVER gonna do that again! I dont care what he says... he almost killed himself.... he looks really bad too... his lips and cheeks all burnt skin and peeling... he burnt his hair and his eyebrows off... the fucked up thing is I barely even knew what was happening.... he walked out of screen as he caught and for a couple secounds I didnt even know what was happening... as soon as I got the camera back to him and saw he was on fire I freaked the fuck out! Sam was freaking out too... wow.... I didn't even realize really how much my baby brother means to me... we always joked that he was gonna kill himself doing this shit and I would catch it on camera.... who knew it was gonna be so soon... ya know... I'm so scared still... something could go wrong... they could OD him on pain meds or something... I don't know.... I don't know... I wish I could get on myspace and tell someone to have my mom call me.... the number here is 662-3113 waiting room #2... not that anyone ever checks this shit anymore... if I could only get on myspace I could tell one of my online friends to call the house for me but myspace is blocked and I've tried every number in my phone book - none accept collect calls... that is so gay... all phones should be able to get collect calls... its not like they have to accept the charges... I don't know what to do... I feel retarded just sitting here typing away like nothing is wrong when my little brother could be dying... I really wish I could get ahold of mom.... jeesh... I just don't know anymore....